An update

Just to catch everyone up, on September 13th, we did not receive our referral for Ivelina as we had hoped.  Instead, we received word that somehow someone in Bulgaria had re-worded the labeling of Ivelina's special needs.  The new wording did not match the wording in our paperwork, so we were told that we must re-do our home study and NBC approval so that all the wording matches.  

This unexpected event has caused us to back-peddle a little bit and jump through a few extra hoops.  We have officially made it through Hoop #1:  on Friday, October 4th, we received copies of our updated home study, and we were able to get those sent off to NBC the same day.  Yay!  Just not quite as exciting as it was the first time.  

Now, we wait on NBC. I was concerned that the government shut-down would affect our NBC approval, but we were assured that our officer is still working.  That is good news.  The first time around with NBC, we were given approximate turn-around times, but this time, we just don't have any expectations of how long it will take.  I will definitely be a squeaky wheel to our NBC officer, though.  =)  We hope it won't take too many weeks to get through Hoop #2, but who knows!

We also received word this week that there are some new requirements for our second trip to Bulgaria, the pick-up trip.  Instead of 7 days, we will be in country for 11 days.  This was a definite shocker for us!  This change means 3-4 more days of hotel and food we must pay for, but it also may reduce our airfare a tiny bit because we will no longer be flying in and out on a weekend.  Still, I know from reading my other favorite blogs that after everything is official and you have your baby, couples just wanna get home!  I'm sure that will be us too, but now the reality is that we are looking at an 11 day stay in country.  

I am SO ready for some good, positive, definitive news to tell people!  I get asked the "how long" question at least 5 times a day, and believe me I want to have a better answer, I do.  Lately, I've just been saying, "Well, everything is just going slowly right now, but it's going."  I know people don't fully understand this comment, but just trust me, we are do everything humanly possible to get things done as quickly as possible.  Yes, it's unfair.  Yes, there are tons of children in the world needing families.  No, we don't love all this government and paper work mess.  Yes, it's all a bit crazy.  Yes, we are excited, we love our girl, and we want her now.  But, this whole thing is building patience, long-suffering and trust in Jeremy and myself.  We have good days and not-so-good days, but we know God is in control of this adoption.

Even though I don't have photos or updates about Ivelina, I do have an Ivelina's room update!  You can read more about our progress on her room here and here.  She now has the cutest step stool in the world to help her climb into her big girl bed!  Check it out:

Yeah, I went to visit my mom for her birthday and she gave me a present!  We just love it!  

Thanks for reading,

- Shelly

More hoops

So, the answer to our last ditch effort that I blogged about last week was "No."  

Bulgaria said "Ne" to the plan our case worker had in mind.  

What this means is that we have some hoops to jump through as quickly as possible.  

1st hoop:  tomorrow morning we are having another interview with our home study social worker.  She will then write up an addendum to our original home study report.  At this point, I have no idea how long this will take, but I hope she works quickly.

2nd hoop:  Then, we will send this update through the NBC again.  I don't have all the information on this process yet; I just know Bulgaria wants to see matching paperwork/wording from them too.  I don't know if we'll just be doing an NBC update or something else???  I don't know how much it costs or how long the wait time is.  I really dread this phase because it took us all summer long to get NBC approval.  I cannot express how much I hate having to do anything with NBC again so soon.

3rd hoop:  Sending all this stuff to Bulgaria and waiting again for them to approve everything and grant us our referral. 

Thanks for those of you who prayed for our last ditch effort, but we're just stuck right now.  Everything is on hold until our home study addendum and NBC document wording all match up.  This is a hard time for us, especially when we were SO looking forward to meeting our daughter this fall.  Now, we really have no idea when it'll be.  Please continue to pray.

Thanks for reading
~Shelly

What we've been up to:

We celebrated Mother's Day by visiting both of our moms.  I received my very first Mother's Day cards ever, and I was so excited!  I know I might not technically count...yet, but I'll treasure these cards forever.

Jeremy and I finished up the spring semester at seminary, and we both now have 39 out of 90 credit hours under our belt. Yes, we still have a ways to go, but 39 is definitely something to celebrate.  We're especially thrilled that we are done with our biblical language classes!  This means we can focus more on learning Bulgarian this summer.  We are taking one small summer course this summer as well. 

Super-exciting adoption news:  we received our official, finalized home studies in the mail this week.  We have three originals, and boy does it feel good to hold these puppies in my hands.  They literally represent months of work and a couple thousand dollars!  

 MORE super-exciting adoption news!  We were awarded a matching grant from Brittany's Hope!  Their foundation will match any amount we can raise this summer up to $2,500!  That means if we raise $2,500, it's really like getting 5,000 when Brittany's Hope matches it.  We are currently thinking over some fundraiser ideas right now, and hoping to start on this goal asap.  If you would like to give toward this goal, simply click the DONATE button over on the right of my blog to give through PayPal.  I will definitely be posting more about this soon. 

 On a fun note, we picked out a colors for Ivelina's room.  We are keeping the walls a neutral color (that white sample really isn't as white as it looks in this photo...it's more creamy).  The border will be comprised of the colors shown.  My mom and I plan to make a bedspread, pillows, and a cushion for her toy box that will match these colors as well.  I'm so excited!

We've been working on a little project this week too: sorting, leveling, and organizing my children's literature.  I hope to have everything neat, stored, and easily accessible in the next week or so.  I absolutely love my children's lit collection and probably won't ever part with my books.  Only about a third of my stash is shown in the photo.  Many of these were my books when I was a child.  It's been so fun going through them and remembering sitting on my mom's lap as she read me bedtime story after bedtime story.  I was juuust a little obsessed with books when I was little.  Still am I guess!  My husband has been making me some awesome shelves where I can store everything.  He's awesome =)

My new shelves which should really come in handy for storing books, craft supplies, and teacher resources.  Some people have asked us, and, although we really don't have all the details mapped out, we do plan to home school Ivelina, especially for the first year she is home.  After that, we'll see what happens.  We're not overly concerned with getting her caught up and "on grade level" as soon as she gets home.  We just want to focus on getting her adjusted to life in North Carolina, and we want to focus on bonding with her.  Of course, we will incorporate education, stimulation, and developmental activities into everything we do.     

I guess that's about it for now.  Our next adoption step is sending in our I800 forms to apply for immigration.  We hope to complete that step in June.  Then, of course, it'll probably take all summer to get approved for immigration, but that's okay.  We have LOTS to do to keep us busy as we get ready for Miss Ivelina to come home hopefully at the end of this year.  *fingers crossed*

Thanks for reading

~Shelly

Home Study - check!

Us, finishing up our last home study meeting today at the bagel shop.

For the past month, we have been meeting with our social worker at a nearby bagel shop, and as of today, we have completed all of our required meetings and turned in all of our paperwork for the home study.

For anyone out there getting ready to go through this process, it's really not as scary as you think!  We actually had five contacts with our social worker for a total of about 6.5 hours.  She was not out to get us.  She is on our side and wants to present us in an accurate but favorable light.

The first visit took place in our home.  It was short and quick.  We just introduced ourselves and talked about what drew us to adoption.  The second contact was an individual interview with Jeremy, and the third meeting was an individual interview with me.  We just talked about our childhoods and our family members.  The fourth meeting was with both of us as a couple again, and we mostly talked about parenting, attachment, special needs, and expectations for adoption.  In our last meeting today, we talked about our marriage, our faith, and the values we plan to instill in our child.

That's it!  Now, we wait on our social worker to type up the pages and pages of notes she wrote about us.  She will be the one recommending that we are ready and able to adopt a child.  Once she types up the home study, several people at our home study agency will review it carefully making sure it meets all of Bulgaria's requirements and making sure it is error-free.  Then, we will send the completed home study along with a few other documents (this is called the Dossier) to our placing agency, and they will send everything off to Bulgaria.

Our AGCI case worker assures us that we are doing great, that we are almost done, and that the worst is behind us.  I sure hope so!  

Thanks for reading,

Shelly

You might be adopting if...

Just for Fun:

• The notary ladies at the bank run when they see you coming with your stack of papers
•  The Fed Ex workers know you by name
• You hear a song on the radio and think, "This would be a great song to set our gotcha video to one day."
• You pass by a pretty park or building and think, "That would be a great spot for an adoption photo shoot once we bring him or her home."
• You literally watch for the mailman everyday hoping for your criminal background reports (or insert other official document here) to show up.
• When you pray over your meal, you automatically wonder what your child is having for dinner that night, and you find yourself praying over that meal as well.
• Also when having your meal, you can't help but imagine one more filled chair pulled up to the table.
• You get excited about coffee dates with your social worker!
• At-home date night = online adoption education modules!
• Literally every craft you see becomes something you think you could make and sell to raise money for the adoption.
• Donations of anything --money, time, fundraising help, auction items, whatever!-- are like soothing balm to your soul.
• You never knew what apostilles were, but now you're willing to drive 2.5 hours away to the state capitol to get them.
• You take photos of your spouse being fingerprinted at the police department. (and, no, he's not being arrested)
• Instead of singing along to pop and country music in your car, you listen to your foreign language CD reciting common phrases for kids. 
• Encouraging blog comments make you smile because you know you're not in this alone.
• You see an obvious adoptive family out in public and you have to resist the urge to grab them so you can have an adoption chat.
• You're saving your vacation days this year just in case you get travel dates.
• You're taking Bulgarian dishes to your family Easter gatherings this year.

Rila National Forest, Bulgaria

 Spring is just around the corner.  I have read the Bulgarian springs are beautiful!  Wish I was going there myself this spring.  Here's a little update on us:

1. We are wrapping up our home study.  Only one more meeting next week, and we're still waiting on those darn criminal background reports to come in.
2. We have a BIG fundraiser planned for mid-April at our church.  Excited, but fundraisers are a lot of work and can be stressful as well.
3. Dossier paperwork is the next big step.  We have quite a bit of paperwork to prepare and whole lotta money to come up with by the end of April.

Prayer Needs:

• Will you pray that our background reports come soon?
• Will you pray for an auctioneer and some folks to share testimonies at our upcoming fundraiser? 
• Will you pray for time and God's speed in getting our Dossier documents prepared?
• Will you lift up our next financial goal of $5,700? I know God can move this mountain.
• Also, will you pray for one little unspoken prayer that maybe we can share more about later?

Thanks for reading and praying,
~ Shelly

Fingerprinted!

We're a bit late in doing this, but I'm happy to say that we were fingerprinted today!

This was a first experience for both of us. We actually need these fingerprints so that we can get criminal background checks from the FBI.  Gotta make sure we aren't a couple of criminals, ya know! 

We got our prints done at our local police station.

Here we are all inked up after the process.  

These criminal record requests and fingerprints are getting shipped off to the FBI tomorrow.  Please pray for a speedy return!  There is a range in how long it takes to get reports back.  I'm hoping for the low end of that range: two weeks.  Fingers crossed that the prints are good and they run our reports quickly!

The home study is almost finished!  Two more meetings with our social worker, a medical exam next week, and a couple more online education courses to go!

Home Study

Our home study meetings have begun!

Our first meeting with our home study social worker was held today in our home.  I took the advice of all of my friends who have walked this road before us and went easy on the house cleaning.  Of course, we made sure everything was presentable and smelling fresh, but I didn't scrub my bathtub, clean out the fridge, or clean behind large furniture!  ha!  

The meeting was very pleasant and relaxed just like everyone assured us it would be.  Our social worker visited with us for about an hour, and we just simply got to know each other.  I thought it was neat that she and her husband have adopted two children domestically.  We gave her a short tour of our home, and that was it!  We will have at least four contacts with her, and we already have the next one scheduled for next week!  She is required to meet with both of us separately, so Jeremy's up first.  He will be doing his one-on-one meeting at the coffee shop on Valentine's Day!  My one-on-one should be held the following week.  We should have all of our meetings wrapped up by the end of the month!  

Our home study social worker will then write an official home study report about us, our family, and our home.  This report will be part of our Dossier documents that will be due in April.  The Dossier will be sent to Bulgaria to be translated, and it will help the folks in Bulgaria match us with a child. 

Home study initial paper work- - Check!

Thankfully, we finally were able to send off our initial paper work and fees for our home study this week!

There were quite a lot of items on that checklist, and we still have a few things we will need to complete by the time the home study is finalized.  Still, it felt great to get that big envelope mailed to our home study agency this week. 

Once we finish our 4 visits with our social worker, our home study will be finalized, and then we will be able to apply for adoption grants.  Yippee!

Our next focus is to finish up our adoptive parent education courses and get fingerprinted.  

Thanks for reading!

-Shelly

Spaghetti Lunch #2

Last week, our family held our second spaghetti lunch fundraiser for adoption.  We had our first spaghetti lunch in August, and you can read about the details here.  Just like last time, I forgot my camera and have no photos whatsoever to share about this awesome event-- boo!  

At this point, we have raised just over  $800 dollars from this event!!  

Woohoo!  I say "at this point" because I have had a few belated donations or payments come in and have been able to add to that total in recent days. 

SO many sweet people from our church and community helped out with this event by donating supplies, cash, time, and gas as they helped deliver the lunches for us.  Many members of our church offered to get an order together at their place of business, and we even had a local pizzeria (whose owners just happen to go to our church) donate a large portion of our sauce, noodles, and salad!  With all of this help, we only spent about $15 out-of-pocket for supplies for this event.  That's a.m.a.z.i.n.g.

Of course, like any fundraiser sometimes the details come together at the very last minute, which is fine but not so good for my nerves.  I worry and my husband encourages.  Things look hopeful, then look bad, then go back to looking hopeful again.  I stress and God provides.  I think that the event is going to be a big flop, and God comes through with a classic photo-finish.  

All in all, I am amazed at the success God gave us, and I just can't thank everyone enough.  Please know if you helped with the event in any way, you are very appreciated.  In the 12 o'clock rush, there were so people just dropping in to buy plates, it felt more like a restaurant than a church kitchen.  Dollars were being handed to me and helpers were rushing orders to and fro, and I honestly don't even have a record of all the plates we actually ended up selling and who we ended up selling to.  Thus, there's no way I send all of you a formal thank you card, but please know that if you helped, prayed for us, ordered a plate, helped deliver, or donated supplies, you played a role in something much larger than a spaghetti lunch fundraiser.  

See, this wasn't just pasta and sauce for us.  Every single plate and every single dollar represented a step closer to redeeming a child from a life of no hope, no family, no love, no Jesus.  It's so easy to get caught up in the mundane details of adoption, like filling out paper work, meeting with social workers, and doing fundraisers, that we forget the point of it all.  At the end of this journey is a child.  There is a sweet child who deserves to be loved, fed, hugged, played with, and introduced to Jesus.  God has given us this mission we are on, and we will continue plugging along until it is finished.  We do greatly appreciate the support we received from this event.  

What's up next?  Well, sitting on my table at home is a certain envelope with ALL of our home study paper work enclosed and a check for $2200.  That's being sent to our home study agency this week. Then, we can begin meeting with our social worker and getting this home study finalized.  I'm so ready!

-Shelly 

 

The Day After...

Our Christmas was a wonderful time spent with all of our family and celebrating Jesus, our savior!

However, we couldn't help but think of the missing member of our family.  I know we are still very early in the adoption process, but I still think of "our child" almost every day.  I wonder what he/she is doing and where he/she is.  Especially on Christmas, we were wondering what our child's Christmas was like in Bulgaria.  Was he/she warm (because it's probably snowing there)?  Did he/she receive a gift? Probably not, as orphanage kids do not typically have any personal possessions?  Did someone love on him or her? Maybe so, the orphanage workers in Bulgaria do the best they can to care for so many children, but it's still not the same as spending Christmas with a loving family?  Does our child know what Christmas is all about?  Probably not.  He or she will probably learn about Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection from us. 

So this Christmas, something (someone) felt missing, and although we are trying not to expect our little one to be with us by next year, we do know that adoption is a crazy journey and having our son or daughter with us by Christmas 2013 is definitely a possibility.  What a wonderful gift that would be!  Today, I pray for our child in Bulgaria, and I pray that he/she knows that someone is loving  and longing and working hard to bring him or her home!  I also pray for my friends who are in the adoption trenches right along with us right now.  Some are just beginning to dream of adopting a little one into their family, while some have been literally waiting for years.  Hang in there!  Keep praying and know that God's timing is perfect, and He will bring that perfect little one into your family at just the perfect time!

And now, I have one last push for our current fundraiser:  graphic prints!!  Our next step in the adoption is to submit all of our home study paperwork sometime in early January.  We literally only need two more items and $1,300.  Of course, I want to get all of this submitted as soon as possible because that just enables us to move a little closer to our child.  Our friend's sale of graphic prints ends on December 31st!  That means there's less than a week to get yours!  If you were thinking about buying one but haven't done so yet, this is the time!  Remember, five dollars from every print sold goes directly to our adoption fund! 

GET YOUR PRINTS HERE

What is a Home Study?

During National Adoption Month, you may be thinking of choosing adoption for your own family.  If so, you will inevitably have to complete a home study.  This is the phase we are currently in.  It's a tough one and a long one, and when I tell people we are working on our home study, they always ask, "What's that?"  Well, here are all the nitty-gritty details. 

For our adoption, we have a placing agency and a home study agency that we are working with.  The placing agency is the agency that we are contracted with (AGCI) who has people on the ground in Bulgaria.  They will guide us through every step of the adoption here, and they will be there in Bulgaria to make sure things on that side of the ocean go as smoothly and as quickly as possible.  Our placing agency does not have an office in our state.  Thus, they recommended a local agency in our state who can complete our home study for us.  Our placing agency and and the Bulgarian government want to be assured that we are capable of being fit parents to our future Bulgarian beauty.  They want to know that our home is safe, that we are well-prepared for parenting, and that we are legal, honest people with no malicious intentions for our child.  To be assured of this, our home study agency requires us to complete a TON of paperwork so that they can know all about us.  Yes, we completely lose our privacy!  Once we complete all this paperwork and collect the needed documents, we send it off to our local home study agency, and then we complete a series of interviews with a social worker.  One of those interviews will be done in our home.  Told ya this is a loong process.  The social worker will prepare an official home study report and this report will be a crucial piece of our Dossier paperwork that will be sent off to the U.S. and Bulgarian governments.  We cannot adopt without a completed home study included in our Dossier.

We have a huge need for time right now.  Our fall semester at seminary has been brutal- by far the most rigorous semester we have had thus far.  School has left us limited time for adoption stuff although we are trying our best to chip away at our adoption to-do list.  We are fundraising, but sometimes I wish we could "timeraise" as well.  We are hoping that Christmas break will be a time when we can make huge strides on our paperwork.  If you're wondering what kind of paper work I'm talking about, here's a to-do list for our home study paperwork.

to-do list updated 12/18/12

• write personal autobiographies
• fill out post-adoption service agreement
• fill out home study history pack (10 pages) - - just a few gaps left
• complete financial statement
• photocopy most recent tax returns
• photocopy of marriage certificate
• photocopy of passports
• photocopy of birth certificates
• take photos of inside and outside of home
• proof of life insurance
• proof of health insurance
• letter stating that adopted child will be covered by insurance agency
• reference letters (neighbor, family member, employer, friend)
• fill out duty to disclose form
• guardianship letter
• NC child abuse registry form
• NC sworn statement

Found out that the following things take a little longer and can be sent later!

• complete health examination forms  
• get veterinary records for our dog
• fill out community resource sheet
• get fingerprinted at police station

We also have to complete 7 adoptive parenting classes before we can begin meeting with our social worker.  People sometimes ask me why we are required to take parenting classes?  After all, any average couple can get pregnant and have absolutely no idea how to parent a child, but they are not made to take parenting classes.  I understand this response, but this is a requirement from our agency and from our country, so we will abide by it.  Also, I truly believe we have a lot to learn and that these classes are going to be very beneficial to us.  Adoptive parenting is different in many ways from "regular" parenting. Here are the titles of the online classes we have to take.  We also have to complete a lengthy workbook that touches on many of these topics as well.  (almost done with this too!)

• medical issues in international adoption
• the journey of attachment
• the conspicuous family: multi-racial families
• ain't misbehavin' - disciplining the adopted child
• let's talk adoption- a lifetime of family conversations
• finding the missing pieces- helping adopted children cope with grief and loss
• Adopting the older child

Can you see from these titles how adoptive parenting can be a different kind of challenge?  I know we will learn so much invaluable information from our parent education courses.  When we finish a class, we get to print a certificate and send it along with our home study packet.

When we finally do gather all of this stuff, we have to send it in to our home study agency with a payment of $2,000.  That's our current fundraising goal.  Adoption is so costly, but I am thankful that it broken down into smaller payments.  Will you consider helping us reach this goal as soon as possible?  We definitely want to have this payment ready so that when our paperwork is in order, nothing will be slowing us down from moving this process along.  

You can help us in several ways:

1. PRAY for time and funds for our family.  
2. DONATE to our general adoption fund through the Pay Pal button over to the right
3. PURCHASE a t-shirt, a bag of coffee, or a graphic print - - a % of all these sales goes toward our adoption fund. 

Please let me know if you have any other questions about the home study.  I will be sure to post updates on how we're doing with this phase.

Thanks for reading

--Shelly