Name Day 2015!

There is a popular Bulgarian tradition called Name Day. Each Bulgarian name has a specific day on which all people with that name are celebrated. The family may throw a party for the person on his name day, he may get gifts, and have cake, just like the way we celebrate birthdays here in the U.S.

Today, January 7, is name day for people with the names Ivan, Ivaylo, Ivanka, Vanio, Vania, Encho, Enio, Zhan, Zhana, Ivayla, Ivelin, Ivelina, Ivet, Ivo, Yoan, Ioan, Ioana, Yonka, Yonko, Yoncho, Yoto, Kaloyan, Kaloian. All these names are derived from the name of Saint John (Ivan). The Eastern Orthodox call this day John's Day, or Ivan's Day. Ivelina celebrates her name on this day too!

We chose to keep this fun Bulgarian tradition alive in our family. This is most likely a celebration that children in the orphanages did not get to celebrate, but I told Ivelina that in her country where she was born many families do celebrate Name Day, so we will continue to celebrate here as well.

During school this morning, Ivelina did a whole bunch of name activities. She kept saying "Ivelina Moorhouse Name Day" all morning long.

Then, she helped Jeremy bake a Name Day cake. I let her choose the type of cake and the type of icing she wanted at the store. Then, we wrote a big "I" on the cake for Ivelina!

She made a good choice: chocolate cake with chocolate icing. She was giddy when it was time to eat the cake!

It was a fun day to celebrate Miss Ivelina Anne Moorhouse. If you would like to read more about her name, here is a link to a old post about her name. Also, here are a few links about Bulgarian Name Day:   Only in Bulgaria    Another link here    Bulgarian Namedays

Thanks for reading,

Shelly

So about that gotcha week in Bulgaria... Part 1

Yes, we have been home with Ivelina for over a month now, and, no, I have not blogged about our pick-up trip. I'm past that trip now. My mind is on different things, new challenges, and joyous progress with our daughter, but I know I have several readers who prayed for our trip. I also know that I have always been blessed by reading the experiences of those who are just a little ahead of us in the adoption process. So, I feel like I need to write about our pick-up week in Bulgaria. That trip already seems like a lifetime ago, but luckily, I have a journal and the daily email updates to my family that can help me remember what the week was like.

So, here it goes. This is our experience with pick-up week:

Tuesday, June 3

Depart for Charlotte, NC. An 1.5 hour drive for us, but the journey was smooth and we arrived at the airport in plenty of time. Security was easy-peasy, and we called all of our family members one final time when we arrived at our gate. We shared one large check bag, and packed another large check bag for Ivelina full of clothes, toys, and snacks. Jeremy and I both carried our back packs w/wheels on the plane and my "personal item" was a little pink backpack for Ivelina (the same one we took to the orphanage every day in January). I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to see her pulling it through the airports on the way back home. Honestly, it was impossible for me to imagine the two of us becoming three at this point.

Wednesday, June 4

We lucked out with only two flights for this trip. We flew directly from Charlotte, NC to Rome. We had quite a layover there...5 hours! Our flight with United Airlines was full and we were stuck right in the middle of the row. In usual fashion, I absolutely cannot sleep on a plane, so I passed the time by eating and watching movies. I was so completely exhausted when we arrived, and the Rome airport is the most uncomfortable airport I have ever been in. We searched around for anything that resembled a place to rest. There are no benches, no lounge chairs, no seats without armrests. I even would have slept on the floor if there would've been some carpet somewhere. There weren't even any padded chairs. So, I was pretty crabby during our layover. We did grab a little piece of pizza and chatted with a nice lady from the States while we waited.

Later we flew another few hours to Sofia, BG arriving around 6pm. A man from our NGO staff was there to pick us up. He drove us to our apartment. We were glad it was the same one we stayed in during our first trip in January. That was at least a bit of familiarity. All my body really longed to do was crash, but we made ourselves walk to the grocery store to stock up on some food for the week. We got some fresh fruits and veggies, soup mix, bread, Nutella, jam, cheese, yogurt, and bottled water. Then, we decided to enjoy one last dinner out just the two of us. I still don't think it had really dawned on me that in just a few hours, we'd have Ivie in our custody and she would be ours. I was excited, but too tired to really process the whole experience. I was also a little sad. I have loved the almost eight years with just Jeremy and me. He's my best friend. So, I think during this dinner out I was also grieving a bit as well.

Then, it was time to get our apartment ready for Ivelina. We put all the food away. Hid all the snacks on a high shelf, hid the medicines, put her toys in a cabinet, and created a sleeping arrangement. After moving some furniture, here's what we came up with:

Thursday, June 5

This was gotcha day for us!  I had all kinds of high hopes for the day! We left our apartment at 6:30 a.m. and made the almost 6 hour drive to Shumen and then to our daughter's Village of Drumev. It was cold and rainy that day. I was worried about not having packed appropriate attire for Ivie. We thought it was going to be hot, so basically all we brought with us were summer clothes.

The sights looked familiar to me as we had already made the same trek twice back in January. Everything was much greener this time round though. We took her backpack filled with several changes of clothes, some pull-ups, snacks, a water bottle, and a new baby doll. I had plans to take lots of photos of the staff there. I wanted to get a group shot of Ivelina with all her care takers. I wanted to try again to get a photo of the bathrooms and her bedroom at her orphanage. (In January, they were pretty guarded with me about taking photos inside the facility.) They told her in January that we would bring her a dress when we came back. It was chilly and rainy, but I brought a dress anyway excited to get her dressed all cute for our first day together. I also brought a pad of stationary and a bunch of pens. I wanted to ask any of her caretakers that wanted to write Ivelina a note that we could keep for her. My plan was to ask my Bulgarian friend back home to translate the note into English on the back. Then, I was going to keep the notes in a scrap book for Ivelina to enjoy in the years to come. I also had about 20 additional questions written in my notebook that I wanted to be sure to ask the director.

We drove through Shumen and then started down the narrow curvy steep road to her village. As we passed the village sign, I felt my stomach getting all nervous. This was happening. Today. No turning back. In about 5 minutes we would be arriving at Kalinka Home for Children with Mental Delay. Would she be waiting for us at the door?  Would she remember us? How long would we have together at the orphanage? Would she cry when she had to say goodbye? Would she even understand what was going on?

Before I knew it we were being ushered inside. It was raining the day we left her in January, and it was raining when we returned. As we stepped in the entry way my eyes were darting down the halls looking for Ivelina. It was quiet. Where were all the other children? At school maybe?  It was a little after lunch time by the time we arrived. I couldn't hear Ivelina at all. Me, Jeremy, our translator, the director, and two workers crammed ourselves into her tiny office. We sat on a little uncomfortable couch. Everyone was talking in Bulgarian. They all seemed rushed. Our translator had already told us we needed to hurry because it would already be late when we got back to Sofia. They were exchanging paperwork and chattering in Bulgarian. Then, more workers crammed into the room.

I managed to ask if Ivelina had been healthy since January. She had been. I asked about her birthday that was just a week prior. They said she was asking where her present from us was.  So sad!  I hate that she had no gift from her mama and taty on her 8th birthday. They said she had looked at her photo book every day (the one we left for her with pictures of us). They said she definitely remembered us and was waiting for us.

All of a sudden, a worker + Ivelina burst into the office. She was wild-eyed and looked SO different! Her short hair looked kinda crazy. Someone had put it in a bunch of tiny ponytails. She was dressed in a long-sleeve shirt under a denim dress with a puffy vest over that and leggings with new black shoes. The worker told her to sit with us and she kind of collapsed on top of me. She was grabbing at the potted plants and kicking, squirming, and well just plain wild. Of course, she was carrying a baby doll.

From this point on, I was just so consumed with checking her out, hugging her, and keeping her under control that all my best laid plans fell by the wayside. I never even got my camera out. Then the director was having us sign some stuff. And another worker was reviewing all the things that Ivelina was taking with her. We had to sign a paper listing all the items she left the facility with. I was shocked by this because I was under the impression that she would leave with nothing. However, she had her toothbrush and a container of toiletries, she had a baby doll, a stuffed animal, some school work, a few clothes, and the outfit she was wearing.

Then, our translator said it was time to go. Before I knew it we were outside and the moment for goodbye's had come. Then, I panicked because I hadn't taken a single photo!  And I didn't hand out the stationary! We quickly snapped a few (bad) photos on the front stoop. Jeremy shot about 10 seconds of video of Ivelina hugging all the caretakers. She was wild and looked angry in every single photo. Not what I had imagined. She was ready to get in the car and go!

As we climbed in the car, I was really let down. I was mad at myself for not documenting the experience better. This was our gotcha day, and we didn't have a good photo or video of the experience. Moreover, I didn't get any additional information, I didn't get the letters, and I only asked like two of my questions from my list!

The whole experience was just simply overwhelming and rushed. Nothing went as I had planned, but we got her anyway.

The car ride back was long. She was wild, but did a lot better in the car than I thought. She loved the new baby doll we gave her. And she loved to watch us draw pictures of things she liked (babies, pacifiers, bottles, etc) When we got back to the apartment, the first thing we did was feed her. Mashed potatoes was all we fed her for this first meal. We were worried that her tummy might be upset from all the stress and changes, and we thought something bland was best.

I bathed her...kind of...she was screaming the whole time so I had to cut that short. In Bulgaria neighbors can call the cops if your child is crying too loudly for very long. We were paranoid about this all week. I got her in her PJ's and she brushed her teeth with taty.

When it was time for bed, she went with no fussing. She climbed right into her little bed and got under the covers. We hugged and kissed. I thought, "wow, is this too good to be true?" Turns out it was. Once we were all in bed and lights were turned down, her behavior was turned up. Three hours later, we arranged everything so that we could literally hold her in the bed. Another hour of squirming around and she was asleep. I was so worked up; nerves, stress, fatigue, frustration, & jet-lag were getting the best of me. Then, I only slept two hours! It was rough, and we were filled with doubts and fears. Will she do this every night? Is it always going to be this bad? Did we make a big mistake?

Stayed tuned for Part 2 where I will write about our next few days in country as we finished up all the requirements for our adoption.

Good Eats in Bulgaria: A food post

I must say we ate very well while in Bulgaria.  Those of you who are preparing to travel for the first time, don't worry!  There is plenty of variety and tastiness in the Bulgarian cuisine. We tried to take photos of some of our meals.  Unfortunately, I could not document every meal we ate, but I do have a few photos to share.

 This is our hotel in Shumen, The Contessa. This hotel had a nice restaurant, and that is where we ate most of our meals. We did venture out to a local restaurant one night in Shumen, but we found it so much more convenient just to walk downstairs to eat. 

The Contessa has a lovely dining area.

Zekuska  (Breakfast)

Cheese Toast

This was a strange breakfast item I thought as I am not used to eating something like this for breakfast. I only ordered it once because it was kind too close to pizza for me.  It was tasty, though.  It was simply thick-cut bread topped with ham and cheese + toasted. Lots of dishes in Bulgaria are served with a tomato/cucumber garnish. 

My favorite breakfast item was a fruit bowl. Bulgaria imports most of their tropical fruits from Africa I learned, and I must say, African tropical fruit is way tastier than American tropical fruits. The kiwi was to die for!  SO sweet! Try a fruit dish while you are in Bulgaria to see for yourself!

Another favorite breakfast item for me was the pancake. These are French-style crepes.  They are large, super thin, and folded up. We could get ours filled with jam, Nutella, or white cheese. I tried all three and loved all three fillings. You do not top these "pancakes" with syrup.

Special note about white cheese:  I didn't really know what kind of cheese this would be, but just in case you see "white cheese" on a menu, I would compare it to feta.  It is white, dry, crumbly, and does not melt very well. I thought it was tastier than feta, though. 

Special note about coffee:  I am not a coffee drinker, but I observed that Bulgarian coffees are teensy compared to American coffees. Their coffee is served in tiny little cups, but they are strong kinda like expresso.

Obed (Lunch)

Potatoes with veggies, garlic bread, mustard chicken

This garlic bread is AMAZING. We ordered it every day. On the menu, it was sometimes called "garlic bread cooked on clay dish" or something like that. Order it and you will not be disappointed! The potatoes with veggies were also cooked in the clay dish shown. They were yummy!  Jeremy really liked versions of the mustard chicken. He ordered it at two different restaurants. 

The Bulgarian servings were quite large. The menus listed how many grams each dish weighed, but we did not have a strong concept of grams. So, at the beginning of our week, we kept ordering these gigantic dishes and having tons of food left over. We finally wised up and started ordering either two smaller weight dishes as shown above, or we ordered one larger dish and split it.  We decided that small was 250 grams appx. or less, and large dishes for us usually weighed about 400 grams. 

Vecheria (Dinner)

Chicken and rice with mushrooms

This was a yummy dish but very large.  (This was one of those 350-400 grammers) There's that yummy garlic bread making another appearance. The orange slices garnish was SO good. I'm telling you, the Bulgarian fruit was the best!

I'm not really sure what Jeremy was eating in the background, but I do remember that it came with mashed potatoes, and they were served cold. eek!  Cold masked potatoes did not sound good to me!

Special note about beverages:  Like most places in Europe, soft drinks are served from glass bottles, chilled. No drinks are served with ice. If you are from the South, sorry, no sweet iced tea. You can order hot tea, though. You can also order this interesting, popular beverage made from yogurt. It's basically plain yogurt blended with water, served cold. Our translator ordered it every day. I tried a sip of hers and thought it was bleh!  You may love it, but the yogurt drink was definitely not my favorite. I usually ordered bottled water or a Coke if I wanted something special. 

 Pork ribs with grilled veggies

This was Jeremy' favorite dish. It came from the "BBQ" section of the menu, which almost every restaurant included on its menu. We are not really sure what the dipping sauce was made from, but he tried it and thought it was tasty. The grilled veggies are covered in dill, a very popular Bulgarian spice. 

Vegetarian Dishes

I sometimes eat vegetarian or even vegan. If you have strict dietary needs, Bulgarian cuisine has plenty to offer. Our translator ate vegetarian, and she always ate some great looking dishes. I also ordered many vegetarian/vegan dishes, but unfortunately I did not get many photos of these.

Cabbage Salad:  I was surprised that I really loved this dish.  It is basically shredded carrots and shredded cabbage tenderized with salt.  That's it!  Sounds bland, but it was very flavorful. 

Snow White Salad: This was a white "salad" of cucumbers, celery, plain yogurt and a little garlic I believe. I have this thing against white stuff. I do not like most white dips (mayo, Ranch, tartar, cottage cheese, etc) This "salad" looked white and lumpy, so I was skeptical. BUT, I tried it and I liked it!  It was really good paired with the garlic bread, and would've been good with crackers too. 

Shopska Salad: Chopped onions, tomatos and cucumbers and sprinkled with white cheese crumbles. Simple and looked wonderful although I didn't try it.

Grilled Veggies: This was a nice side dish. We also ordered a huge dish called Mixed Salad one night, and three of us shared it. It was kind of like a sampler, and it included grilled peppers. Delish!

Bruschetta

Yum, this was SO good. Topped with a bit of olive oil, this was my favorite "salad" that I ate.  =)  This was ordered at Cactus restaurant in Sofia. 

White bean soup

What a terrific soup!  I'm pretty sure it was seasoned with bacon...maybe...so not quite vegetarian, but it had a great flavor. This was also served at the Cactus restaurant in Sofia, and it was on their list of "authentic" Bulgarian dishes.  I love soup and beans anyway, so this dish was right up my alley. (That's a pepper floating in the middle by the way.)

Bread

We just loved the bread in Bulgaria. This was another type of bread we ordered. It came with butter, a mixture of spices, and the mystery "black stuff." We didn't really know what the black stuff was at first, but it tasted good and familiar. I was curious and just had to ask the server. He said is was black olives crushed into a paste.  Interesting idea!

Dessert

 Eclair Cake

This cake was so good we scarfed down half of it before I remembered to take a photo! It was Eclair Cake. It was light, creamy, sweet, and soft, but it had crunchy nuts on the edge. Each layer in the cake was made from mini-eclairs. I'm not sure if this is a typical Bulgarian cake or not. Our hotel had a banquet one night, and we saw the cake being served to banquet party. We actually asked the server if we could have the same cake, and they gave us some!  I'm sure glad we asked because it was one of the best cakes I have ever eaten!  Jeremy agrees!

Restaurant Dining Etiquette

• Our translator told us that the tip amount is 10% in Bulgaria.
• Leave bills for the tip, not coins. This may be considered rude to leave coins.
• The Bulgarian way to dine is to eat very slowly and enjoy the experience. The focus is on the conversation and the company instead of on the food; therefore, it is not uncommon to take 2-3 hours to eat dinner at a restaurant. The servers do not consider it rude to occupy a table for the whole night. 
• You must ask the server for the bill. They find it rude to bring it to the table without being requested.
• The server does not find it rude, however, to ask if they can keep your change as a tip. I found this funny as it is the exact opposite of etiquette in America.  ha!

Dining in Sofia 

 

Here I have some tips and some questions for my readers. We stayed for two nights in an apartment in Sofia. We walked to a nearby walking and shopping area to eat our meals. Those of you who are working with VESTA probably know the area I am speaking of. We found a few good restaurants that we liked near this shopping area. We liked Pizza Palace, Cactus, and Red House.  Red house doesn't really say Red House on the outside; the name was written in Bulgarian, but the restaurant was two stories and it was literally a pinkish-red color on the outside. I think the VESTA staff will know about all of these, so just ask them if you want to visit these restaurants. 

My question for those of you who have traveled to this area of Sofia is: where did you eat on your second trip when you were with your child?  These restaurants listed above were good, but not really kid-friendly. We saw a KFC and plenty of McDonalds, but has anyone else found any other good places to take kids during your stay in Sofia. We will be there for several days in an apartment with our child, and I'm not sure how she would handle restaurants. Did you attempt cooking in the apartment? Did you do take out? 

I hope you have enjoyed this food post. I was really excited to share because, well, don't we all love food?!  

Thanks for reading,

Shelly

From Taty's perspective: a post by Jeremy

 

It's been a few days now since a whirlwind trip to Bulgaria to meet our daughter. Shelly and I are getting back in the routine of work schedules and full-time school, which started Monday (yikes!). Last week was an experience we'll never forget. Shelly, as always, did an amazing job posting blog updates. To be quite honest, in the evenings after dinner I was ready to crash (or already asleep) while you were blogging. I am not a regular blogger, don't use Twitter and am rarely on Facebook, but I would like to briefly share last week and adoption in general from the perspective of "taty" or dear ol' dad.

When Ivelina came barreling into the room last Monday to meet us for the first time, it hit me like a ton of bricks. All of the praying, hoping, paperwork, fundraising, phone calls, emails, workbooks, online workshops, fingerprints, legal documents, travel arrangements, etc. over the last year and a half or so …. and now we are sitting in the room with her. We watched for the first few moments as she ran around and sort of did her thing. Ivelina is very energetic (a firecracker really) and she has quite the imagination. As the week progressed she became a little more comfortable with us, especially our last day at the orphanage on Thursday. Evie painted my fingernails (the clear kind that rubs off easily … whew!) but then she sharply announced to everyone that I did not have enough hair for any colorful hair clips. Then came the endless game where dad tosses Evie up in the air. I would ask her, "pak?" which meant "again?" and before I could barely get the words out of my mouth she responded with "da!" or "yes!" That game went on until I noticed Evie's head getting close to the ceiling. I don't think any of the orphanage staff noticed. Evie was able to help me after I picked up a couple of "illnesses" during the week … she put a band-aid on my injured foot and told me my stomach ache was a result of, well, gluttony basically. Evie let me push her on the swings on the playground for a few minutes before she got a little carried away with kicking dirt at the direction of some of the orphanage workers. That was all she wrote for outside time that day.

As Shelly described so vividly in her earlier post, saying goodbye on Thursday was tough. It was heart-breaking. I sat there watching as Evie's caretaker told her that we would not be coming back the next day. Evie looked confused for a few moments and then she wrapped her arms around Shelly, whose eyes began to well up a little. Actually I was really impressed. Shelly held it together. I mean, there we all were, several staff members, our translator and myself standing around staring at those two in the middle of the room.  We left a photo album with her and the caretakers assured us they would remind her that we were coming back soon. Then, we left.

I couldn't sleep for the first two nights we were there in Shumen, especially after the day we met Evie. A hundred different things were going through my mind, some good, some not so good. Is this going to work? Are we going to be able to make the connection with her? How are we going to overcome the language barrier? How will we handle her special needs? The list goes on. My mind was consumed with fear and doubt. It was one "what if" after another. Why does this have to be so hard? Adoption is supposed to be a good thing, a positive thing! We are hopefully going to bring this little girl into a loving home, something she has not known in all of her seven years. I mean, come on God, can't you see this?

The whole adoption process has served as a powerful reminder that the world is not the way it's supposed to be. God made everything good (Genesis 1:31) and "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5). Our world has been corrupted with sin, which has infected us all. Marriages fall apart. Families have division. Child trafficking exists. Kids are abandoned by their parents. One of the main reasons we decided to adopt was because it is such an incredible picture of the gospel (Ephesians 2). We have been bought with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and adopted as sons and daughters of God. The Lord said He will never leave us or forsake us. I am not the hero, swooping in to rescue Evie from the orphanage. I am just a weak vessel in need of a strong Savior to guide me in everything, including my relationship with my beautiful wife and soon-to-be mom Shelly. We'll need His direction as we continue to pursue this little seven-year old girl from Bulgaria, remembering that He was the One who pursued us first.

 

Hopefully in 4-6 months we'll be headed back to Eastern Europe to bring Evie home with us. If any moms or dads are reading this right now, they are probably thinking "yeah, you think it's tough now, wait until they come home." I can only imagine! Ah, the adventure continues. Shelly follows quite a few adoption blogs, many of which are put together by moms. I hope this encourages some of the dads along the adoption journey as well.


Thanks for reading! Jeremy
1 John 4:4

Meeting Ivelina Day Two

We had breakfast at the hotel and then made our way to Ivelina's village.  I took several pictures of our drive in. 

An area we drive by on the way to Ivie's village.

This sign says Vasil Drumev, the name of Ivelina's village.

Some interesting trees we see everywhere here.  Our translator says they are a type of poplar.

Once at the orphanage, we went to the special play room and they brought Ivelina to us. She is always overly excited when she first sees us. She immediately found her favorite doll and the stuffed monkey that she likes to pretend is a sick baby.  We gave her our gift- the doctors kit, and she was beside herself!  She quickly started examining the doll, putting on bandages, giving injections, and listening to breathing. She played doctor for at least two hours. We tried our best to join in.  I told her my head hurt, and Doctor Ivelina determined that I had lice in my hair. Then, she thought Jeremy's stomach ache was because he ate too much chocolate. She called the ambulance several times.  It was good fun! 

We tried going outside in the afternoon, but Ivelina was not on her best behavior and was kicking dirt on everyone. The caretakers were not happy and ordered us all to go back inside. We did learn that she can swing very well all by herself.  We were impressed by her motor skills!

Back inside, I got out stickers and gummy bears.  Both were a big hit! Jeremy showed her how to stick them on her hand and pretty soon we all had stickers stuck all over us.  She especially liked the sparkly stickers. Tomorrow, she will have lunch with us in the special play room away from the other children so we can help feed her. She is a good eater we are told.

At some point either tomorrow or Thursday me, Jeremy, our translator and Ivelina have to take a drive into Shumen to get her photo made for her visa. So, we will hopefully get to see how she behaves in a car. She does ride to school in a van each day, so she is used to vehicles, but as with everything else, she gets overly excited we are told.

It has been a lot to take in here. We are learning so much about Ivelina and her needs. Everyone here is optimistic that she is going to do great with a family. We see her potential as well! I guess our biggest fear right now is the language barrier. We have learned LOTS of new Bulgarian phrases this week to add to the ones we already knew, but once we are away from Bulgaria and away from our translator, we are a little anxious about how the first 3-4 months will go at home with limited communication. All the staff here are encouraging us not to worry, to keep practicing our Bulgarian, and to be patient because in about 3 months she will begin to lose her first language and begin picking up English. We are seeing the reality of how challenging the transition of culture is going to be. It is definitely something to keep praying for! We are so thankful that we have a little more time to prepare for her arrival because it will be such a big change for us all! 

Those of you who adopted older children who spoke only Bulgarian, how did you manage?  Do you have any tips for us as we prepare for her arrival later this spring? Any advice is much appreciated.  =)

Thanks for reading,

-Shelly

Meeting Ivelina Day One

Well, it has been an exciting day here in Bulgaria. We left Sofia at around 7:30 and drove to our hotel in Shumen.  It was almost 5.5 hours of driving on the road to Varna, but we enjoyed talking with our translator.  She is cheerful and funny.  Also, Bulgaria has the most dramatic changing landscapes.  It seemed like every few miles we were in a totally different looking region.

We arrive at her orphanage at around 2:00pm.  She had been in school until 1:00 pm and then had lunch before we arrived. We did not get to see much of the facility, and I don't know if they will allow us to tour any other part this week.  They took us straight to the special play room where all her photos have been taken before.  It looked familiar to us. 

I know the thing everyone wants to see is photos of all three of us together, but they would only allow us to take photos if we promised not to post them online.  Sorry...but trust me, we got some good ones!

A worker brought Ivelina into the room.  She ran into immediately looking for a certain doll that she loves.  Once she found it, she was super focused on the doll and really didn't notice us at first.She likes to take care of the doll and play "doctor" with it.

We were only there for 2.5 hours, but eventually she warmed up to us quite a bit, especially Jeremy!  She was sad when we had to leave, but she is excited that we are bringing her book bag back tomorrow and it will have toys in it. She walked us outside the orphanage and blew kisses at us as we got in the car. 

We are very lucky that our hotel, The Contessa, is located right next door to a very nice toy store.  We went there this evening and bought her a doctor kit and a baby with a bathtub kit.  Our translator thinks the doctor kit is going to be a home run!  We are taking it to her in her book bag tomorrow. 

It was so pretty and warm here today.  If it is like this tomorrow, we will be able to play outside on the small playground they have.  We will be there from 9:30am until the kids have lunch.  Then we will leave for lunch and come back for a couple more hours in the afternoon. Ivie is staying out of school tomorrow so that she can spend extra time with us. Yay!

Ivelina is neither shy nor quiet nor calm.  Some funny things she/did said today:

• She is glad I have all my teeth.  lol
• When I was standing in her way:  "Make room for me!" Then, to a worker, "Why is her butt here?"  Apparently, my butt was in her way!
  
• She kept rubbing the gel that was in Jeremy's hair.
• She would bite a goldfish cracker in half and give me a tiny crumb and Jeremy a tiny crumb.  That's her way of sharing I guess.
• She did a Bulgarian dance for us...one that she performed with her school group. She was so proud and it was adorable. We may have a little dancer on our hands.
• For everything we gave her, she was very concerned that "Kenna" not get it. Apparently this is an older girl who is aggressive and Ivelina does not like her at all!  But, she does have a friend here whom she said she would share with, "Nessa."

One great thing:  I didn't cry today! I think the fact that Ivie ran into the room with such a burst of energy helped. She kinda surprised me and it was hard to have time to get emotional.  I am still anxious about the end-of-week goodbye though.  She was upset when we left her today after just a couple of hours, so I know the end of this week will be hard on us all. 

Tomorrow will include a much longer time with Ivie.  We are very tired and heading to bed now.  Stay tuned for more updates!

Lovin' it in Bulgaria =)

Well, we made it to our apartment in Bulgaria.  

It's adorable. 

We are exhausted because neither of us can sleep on planes, no matter how long the flight.  We have explored the Sofia city center a little bit this afternoon and grabbed some "vecheria" (dinner). 

Yeah, Jeremy is like the only man here wearing a baseball cap.. Ha!

Now, it's time to bathe and go to bed early.  Saturday night and Sunday morning just kinda vanished before our eyes and we never got any sleep, so we have to make up for it tonight.

Tomorrow's the big day!  We meet Ivelina!  This is what we've been looking forward to for so long, and it's surreal to think that tomorrow it's really happening.  We were told it'll take us about a 4-5 hour drive tomorrow morning to get to her region. The roads are not great in her area we've been told as well.  I'm not not really looking forward to being stuck in the car for so long, but I am looking forward to seeing more of the beautiful Bulgarian countryside!

Stay tuned for more!

-Shelly

Preparing for Trip One (Part One)

I'm not supposed to cry.

In exactly one month, me and my love will fly over 5,000 miles to an unfamiliar country. We will be surrounded by a language and a culture we do not know.  We will trust some people we do not know to take us along a bumpy four hour drive to another small city where we will visit a government-run institution for children with special needs. We will meet the people who have taken care of our daughter for seven years. We will talk with them about her and ask every kind of question we can think of. Then, they will bring a little girl into the room whom we do not know but have been waiting ten months to meet. A room of people we do not know will be surrounding us watching us meet our daughter for the very first time. 

And, I'm not supposed to cry.   

As we prepare for this exciting, nerve-racking, wonderful trip to Bulgaria, this is one of the things I am most worried about---crying. 

I am a cry-er, y'all.  I was a blubbering mess during my entire wedding, and I cry at every sappy movie, every gotcha day video, every adoption story I hear.  I even sometimes cry when I see a sweet daddy and daughter out in public because it makes me think of Jeremy and Ivelina one day. 

Our case worker says that we want all of our time spent with Ivelina to be positive and happy. We want her to have fond memories of us when we leave. Understandably, she would be very confused to meet a strange couple for the first time only to see them visibly upset.  It just won't make sense to her.  So, that moment when we first see her, I will want to cry.  The emotions and nerves will be running high, and I will be fighting back tears, but for her sake, I'm not supposed to cry.

We will spend the week visiting her at her orphanage every day and playing with her, bonding with her, and helping her become comfortable with us. Then, after five glorious days, Friday will come. Friday we will say "see you later" (not good-bye) to Ivelina and again, while she is present, I am not supposed to cry. This seems humanly impossible to me, but again, we do not want her parting memory of us to be me breaking down into a pool of tears and collapsing on the floor with heartache.

When our week with her is over, we will make that bumpy drive and that long flight back home with empty arms. Then, I can cry.  I'm already mentally preparing myself. This trip is going to be SO good and SO hard. I really don't know how I'm going to handle it all. I guess I won't know until it's happening how heart-wrenching this trip is going to be. We are going to learn so much about our daughter that week in January, but leaving her there is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 

Thanks for reading,
--Shelly

An update

Just to catch everyone up, on September 13th, we did not receive our referral for Ivelina as we had hoped.  Instead, we received word that somehow someone in Bulgaria had re-worded the labeling of Ivelina's special needs.  The new wording did not match the wording in our paperwork, so we were told that we must re-do our home study and NBC approval so that all the wording matches.  

This unexpected event has caused us to back-peddle a little bit and jump through a few extra hoops.  We have officially made it through Hoop #1:  on Friday, October 4th, we received copies of our updated home study, and we were able to get those sent off to NBC the same day.  Yay!  Just not quite as exciting as it was the first time.  

Now, we wait on NBC. I was concerned that the government shut-down would affect our NBC approval, but we were assured that our officer is still working.  That is good news.  The first time around with NBC, we were given approximate turn-around times, but this time, we just don't have any expectations of how long it will take.  I will definitely be a squeaky wheel to our NBC officer, though.  =)  We hope it won't take too many weeks to get through Hoop #2, but who knows!

We also received word this week that there are some new requirements for our second trip to Bulgaria, the pick-up trip.  Instead of 7 days, we will be in country for 11 days.  This was a definite shocker for us!  This change means 3-4 more days of hotel and food we must pay for, but it also may reduce our airfare a tiny bit because we will no longer be flying in and out on a weekend.  Still, I know from reading my other favorite blogs that after everything is official and you have your baby, couples just wanna get home!  I'm sure that will be us too, but now the reality is that we are looking at an 11 day stay in country.  

I am SO ready for some good, positive, definitive news to tell people!  I get asked the "how long" question at least 5 times a day, and believe me I want to have a better answer, I do.  Lately, I've just been saying, "Well, everything is just going slowly right now, but it's going."  I know people don't fully understand this comment, but just trust me, we are do everything humanly possible to get things done as quickly as possible.  Yes, it's unfair.  Yes, there are tons of children in the world needing families.  No, we don't love all this government and paper work mess.  Yes, it's all a bit crazy.  Yes, we are excited, we love our girl, and we want her now.  But, this whole thing is building patience, long-suffering and trust in Jeremy and myself.  We have good days and not-so-good days, but we know God is in control of this adoption.

Even though I don't have photos or updates about Ivelina, I do have an Ivelina's room update!  You can read more about our progress on her room here and here.  She now has the cutest step stool in the world to help her climb into her big girl bed!  Check it out:

Yeah, I went to visit my mom for her birthday and she gave me a present!  We just love it!  

Thanks for reading,

- Shelly

September

I love Fall.  I love the colors, the leaves showing one last glimpse of beauty before they fall to the ground for the winter.  I love the crispness of the air and the way the angles of the sunlight shift ever so slightly.  I love this season so much that we chose to get married in the Fall.  So, now when I see the first signs of Fall, I get a little extra pep in my step because I know the season of state fairs, pumpkins, raking, and celebrating our wedding anniversary is upon us.  This Fall I am especially excited because there's a little extra reason to love this season: this Fall we hope to meet our daughter.

Today is the first day of September, and for us, we hope September will be significant regarding our adoption.  About a month ago we sent in the last document that Bulgaria needs to be able to grant us our official match with our daughter.  Of course, that document has been sitting with the rest of our dossier for a couple weeks now just waiting on Bulgarian officials to get back from their month-long vacation.  (errr... why can't American's get month-long vacations?)

Anyway, this week, the Minister of Justice and other government offices will be back in session, and we are praying that they will approve our case and give us our official match with Ivelina soon.  Our case worker says that everything looks like it is in order, everything has been translated, and all documents are accounted for.  She believes we will hear some referral news this month!  (fingers crossed!)

So, as of today, the crazy waiting-by-the-phone stuff begins for us.  It really could come at any time, any day (we hope) this month.  This month is also going to be awesome because we will be the featured family on GiveOne-SaveOne hopefully one week this month.  More on that to come!


Thanks for reading

-Shelly

mixed emotions

We truly had high hopes for this summer and our adoption plans.  In May when we received those finalized home studies, we felt so relieved, like a weight had been lifted off our shoulders.  We felt like the bulk of our paperwork was behind us!

We knew our next step was to submit our fees and application to the National Benefits Center, and we expected this to be the summer of immigration.  We applied in early June.  It took about a week to get our letter of receipt.  Yay, we thought!  They're moving quickly.  Our case worker even told us that NBC was moving quickly.  Then it took two weeks to receive our fingerprint appointment, which was another two weeks out on July 9th.  Well, we were successfully printed on the 9th, and now we continue to wait on that approval letter.  NBC has slowed down their speed in granting these approval letters, so all we can do is wait and check the mail expectantly each day.  When we receive it, it has to be appostilled in the capital.  We have to mail ours off, so getting an appostille for us takes about a week or so.  These little one and two and three week waits are adding up!  First emotion:  frustration and impatience.  We really thought this whole NBC thing would be a done deal by now! 

Now, we are approaching the end of July and the start of summer holiday in Bulgaria.  Our case worker tells us that we will most likely get all of our NBC documents to Bulgaria while the government officials are off for holiday.  We should expect no adoption news in the month of August.  Our paperwork will be waiting for them when they return in September.  Second emotion: disappointment at yet another month delay.

BUT, our case worker also tells us that the Minister of Justice should get right on our case as soon as they return to office in early September.  I hate to even type this for fear that it might now come true, but .... "it is reasonable to expect our official match in early September, and it is reasonable to expect to travel in mid to late September.  Third emotion:  surprise, shock, excitement, disbelief, fear, worry. 

WHAAA??  That's like two months away!  Are you kidding me?  We could need to travel in like 2-3 months!!  We could meet Ivelina in September?  This is all a BIG IF, but if paperwork and government stuff continues to progress at this same rate, that is our timeline.  There are then 3 months between our two trips, which would put us traveling for our pick up trip in mid-to-late December. 

It's funny.  During this entire adoption process, we knew this was the goal: to have that little one home.  But, y'all it's so long, and so stressful, and so complicated, and so expensive that when we're in the thick of it, we actually forgot that when this is all completed, we will have a little Bulgarian beauty running around our house.  It's getting real now.  I suddenly feel intense curiosity about her.  We suddenly talk about her like every hour.  EVERY conversation between me and Jeremy lately includes talk of Ivelina.  I also suddenly feel intense worry.  We have like $0 for plane tickets.  We're just not to that point yet.  How in the world will we be able to travel half way around the world in like two months?  We will be in the middle of our fall semester at seminary at that time, and I also worry and wonder how missing a week or two of class is going to affect us.   

All that being said, this is good.  Yes, NBC is taking a bit longer than we thought, but God knows the perfect timing, and His timing is good.  He sees ahead better than we can, and it is comforting to trust in His plan for us.  It is good to finally be talking about travel, to finally give ourselves permission to imagine that first day meeting her.  It's good to finally have a loose timeline to work with. 

Other exciting Ivelina news:  her bedroom furniture is on order thanks to my dad who wanted to provide that for us.  The bed is beautiful and practical.  My mom has finished the curtains and bedspread, and I just can't wait to see it all put together in her freshly painted bedroom.  Don't worry, I will fill a post with photos once it is all set up!

Thanks for reading!

-Shelly

A new friend

I had the best day today.  Yes, I had to be at work for seven hours, but I love my tutoring job, and I got to help several nice students today.  The best part though was making a new friend who just happens to be BULGARIAN!  Yay!  Ivan is the first person I have met who was born in Bulgaria and speaks fluent English AND fluent Bulgarian. 

This was sort of an arranged friendship.  Ivan is friends with one of my co-workers, and my co-worker arranged a meeting for us.  Ivan is super-nice, very smart, and of course is well-versed in all things Bulgarian.  We sat and talked for about an hour today about the climate, language, and geography of the country, and he even began giving me some travel tips for when we go there (hopefully this fall).  

And he gave me this: 

A Bulgarian chocolate bar!  It was yummy!  Ivan wants to help us in any way he can, and I am just so grateful for this opportunity to build new friendships with him and his family.  Jeremy and I hope to meet them all and even have lunch together soon.  We're hoping Ivan can help us learn a little of the Bulgarian language this summer too!

On top of all this, we also finished putting two coats of the base paint on the walls in Ivelina's room.  I'm going to post some before and after photos when we're all done.  Next, I have to work on the colorful border that I have in mind.  Next month, we hope to shop for furniture, and I have a little refurbishing project I want to do to her toy box.  Fun, fun, fun!

Another good part of this day:  it was beautiful outside!  I can't remember a cooler month of May in NC.  It was in the sixties today with a crisp fall-like breeze, my favorite!  A perfect evening for a long walk in the neighborhood with my dog   =) 

Thanks for reading,

~Shelly