This week has been my first experience feeling loss in this adoption process. We learned about loss during all of our adoption education, and I am aware that loss can be experienced by birth parents, adoptive parents, and even the child during this process, but I guess I am just now feeling it.
Last night, we sat down and watched our videos of Ivelina just for fun. I cried for the first time watching them because I just want us to be with her so badly. I am now feeling that loss of time with her. We've missed 6 of her birthdays, and now we are missing a seventh this week. We wonder if she gets to celebrate her special day this week. We wonder if she has ever had a birthday present of her own. I also wonder about her birth parents, and I wonder about all the circumstances surrounding her birth. I do hope that when we travel we learn more about her story and how she ended up in her orphanage, so that I can tell her one day.
We are celebrating her birthday by beginning to clean out and paint her bedroom. I've also organized all of my craft supplies, children's literature, and teaching resources, so everything educational is ready to go when we bring Ivelina home! Yes, we're nesting I guess.
Our hope is that this will be Miss Ivelina's last birthday without a family to celebrate with her.
Thanks for reading!
~ Shelly
I can totally relate to the tears. I cried so much in the 16 months it took to get our son home. When his second birthday passed and we still did not have him home (we were supposed to have had him with us months before), I just cried the whole day. Then I baked a pie and we put a candle into it, wrote a sign that said Happy Birthday and took a picture. It didn't make us miss him less, but I wanted him to know that we were thinking of him that day.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that you can be certain that you will have Ivelina home in 2014, well before her 8th birthday.
Are you planning to homeschool her? :)
ReplyDeleteDiana, sorry, I am just now seeing this comment. Yes, we plan to home school at least for one year. Then, we'll see what happens. If it goes well, I'd love to continue in home schooling, but at this point we don't know what will work best for us.
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